Things That Make You Go, “WHAT?!”: The Michael Jackson Story

By Nadia Afghani, NEWS JUNKIE POST Guest Columnist

We all have our views on Michael Jackson and how he lived his life, but it was in a conversation I had with a group friends during Sunday brunch that suddenly, the chit-chat turned into the most interesting conspiracy-filled conversation about the life of Michael Jackson.

“I heard he actually died in the 80s but that the government was too fearful of informing the public – you know with the whole assassination of Martin and Malcolm, they’ll never live this one up, so they found a lookalike to replace him,” said my buddy Preeti. “But no self respecting black man would do it, so they had a white guy replace Michael Jackson. The proof is in the kids. Look at ‘em! They totally white. They don’t even look like a mix.”

Another friend, Julissa said something along these lines:

“I remember hearing the same thing, that he died in the 80s, but I heard that LaToya replaced him and has been masquerading as him ever since then. People say that they’ve never seen the two of them together, at the same place, at the same time. And so now that she killed ‘Michael’ she can finally pursue her own career. I bet she’ll take over his world tour now!”

But Julissa’s theory didn’t explain Michael Jackson’s white kids. Luckily Sanaz, our fourth brunch-mate, had an explanation for that.

“Well, I heard that Joe Jackson had Michael castrated as a kid to preserve his high pitched voice. That’s why he was able to have a voice like that well into his 50s. Oh and obviously the kids aren’t his.”



2 Responses to Things That Make You Go, “WHAT?!”: The Michael Jackson Story

  1. -4 Vote -1 Vote +1clvngodess
    July 4, 2009 at 9:59 am

    Ha ha ha. I can’t wait for the Weekly World News to have MJ on Mars playing concerts with Roy Orbison, Elvis and Osama Bin Laden to aliens who speak to Dick Cheney via a tin foil hat.

  2. -3 Vote -1 Vote +1TeMc
    July 8, 2009 at 7:37 pm


    Well, you’re not leaving any doubt about it here. It’s plain obvious.

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