NEWS JUNKIE POST
Sep 16, 2009 at 8:59 amGlenn Beck: The Fright Wing’s Comic King
Glenn Beck
Watch out, Stephen Colbert — Glenn Beck is gunning for your gig. I know a lot of people take the crazy-like-a-toxic FOX NEWS firebrand seriously. And I’m not suggesting the guy’s not a force to be reckoned with; I’m just saying he’s a comic genius.
Exuding a passion that falls somewhere between a latter day Jimmy Swaggert and Lonesome Rhodes, the fictional hobo turned proselytizing media star immortalized by Andy Griffith in Elia Kazan’s classic 1957 film, A Face in the Crowd, Beck is one of the most compelling characters to ever captivate a television audience. Of course he started on radio, first as a DJ in Connecticut and later as a syndicated talk host, one of Rush’s band of fright wing rabble rousers that have seized a powerful swath of radio real estate in recent years. But television is the medium that truly captures Beck’s unique comic talents: his tears, sobs, mock classroom struts, the kitsch visual aids including tote boards and an old fashioned blackboard at the ready for conspiracy theories and misspellings. And there are those great facial contortions that can take his doughy puss from sincere to crazed in seconds flat.
So what if he shed sponsors like a house filled with Persian cats following his misinterpreted comment, “I think President Obama is a racist. He has a deep hatred of white people?” People who fear him, people who worship him, were either offended or emboldened by that statement. But I know better. Beck is a satirist. His comedy is so sophisticated, even a savvy media maven may be fooled at first. But watch him for several consecutive nights and you’ll be hooked on his nuanced comedy, too.
I’m sure Beck was filled with shock and awe to discover his frantic faux ravings helped oust former Green Jobs Czar Van Jones and demote NEA Communications Director Yoshi Seargant to a back room giglet. He must have been flabbergasted to find thousands storm the Capitol last Saturday for his parody 9/12 Project protest rally. His secret double probation instructions to splatter misspelled jibes and threats across poster boards were adhered to by a surprisingly diverse crowd. Not since Soupy Sales got kids to swipe money out of their parents’ wallets and send it to him back in the ‘60’s has a media personality so affected his audience. Okay, Jerry Falwell outed and nearly blacklisted Tinky Winky, the purple, purse-toting gay teletubbie back in the ‘90’s, but the less said about that ugly incident the better.
I have friends who flat out refuse to watch Beck, insisting their heads would spin uncontrollably and wherever she is poor Linda Blair would start spewing nostalgic pea soup. And I must admit, especially since I tend to watch the late-night rebroadcast, as I drift into slumber, my dreams have become strange. In one, I am sharing a lunch of Chicken Kiev and Smirnoff vodka shots with Michelle Obama in the middle of Rockefeller Center while Karl Marx and Keith Olbermann wander about, affixing hammers and sickles to every painting, statue and tourist.
If you’re not careful, Beck’s deadpan paranoia can seep into your waking life, too. I found myself roaming the aisles of Stop & Shop the other day, locating hidden symbols of propaganda everywhere I looked. I could have sworn the Trix cereal rabbit was luring kids into a life of prostitution (with kick backs going to the embattled community organizers at ACORN); anyone with half a brain would know Froot Loops were obviously pushing a gay agenda; and who couldn’t see Count Chocula was ready to indoctrinate kids into the New Black Panther Party while openly encouraging necrophilia as a legitimate alternative lifestyle?
I became slightly hysterical ( a state very similar to a little bit pregnant) when I discovered Russian dressing was on sale, a clear sign of a communist plot to clog American arteries as it was brimming with more fat, cholesterol and calories than the healthier and higher priced low-fat Ranch dressing, which symbolizes the freedom of the American west.
Flushed with fever, I fell to my knees before a display of Arm & Hammer Baking Soda. The symbol on every box surely signifies a socialist stampede against every kitchen and laundry room in America. Then I broke out into a rash—a very RED rash—as it dawned on me: these people also make toothpaste. That’s right; there is a socialist, communist, fascist conspiracy to conquer every single American mouth! And all I could do was wait until five o’clock to turn on the TV and hear the comforting voice of that great American communicator, that true national treasure make sense of it all.
Okay, so maybe I overindulged a bit. Like with most things in life, a little Glenn Beck goes a long way. Moderation, my friend, moderation. But miss the grand Beck spectacle at your own peril, America. As the maestro of mind control would say, we have to grab the wheel of liberty before the paradigm shifts. And there’s nothing left to watch but Rachel Ray and that ShamWow guy.
Insomniacs will be left with a longing for the good old days when infomercial diet Guru Susan Powter’s shrill plea to “Stop the insanity!” pulsated throughout the land.
You can visit Amy’s blog, Radio Graffiti by clicking here.
That dribble would have been clever ~ for lack of a better word ~ in a high school newspaper. Keep your day job …. honestly.
Glenn Beck, Glen Beck, Glen Beck….
What can one say about Glenn Beck that he does not say about himself every time he opens his over-fed pie hole?
The man is a National embarrassment. A showcase of the absolute ignorance and stupidity of a once-great Nation.
That we give this man a voice proves just how low we will go.
That he is allowed to breed is another discussion entirely.
Yes, moderation or take this short tutorial on how to sift Fox dung:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spKr46-KPC0
Dear Bill,
Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and Van Jones are National Embarrassments. Glenn Beck hosts a television show that you can choose to watch or change the channel. Unfortunately, the rest of the country cannot change the channel on the likes of Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and the decision making process that took place appointing Van Jones to a position of power. Pelosi alone should make the American people hang their heads in shame.
THANKFULLY, THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE THAT UNDERSTANDS WHAT GLENN BECK IS ALL ABOUT – HE IS A BIG JOKE! ANOTHER GREAT ARTICLE – KEEP UP THE EXCELLENT WORK – YOU KNOW HOW TO TELL IT HOW IT REALLY IS!
I watch Glenn, Bill and Sean everyday on Fox. I am glad they are there to speak the words I feel inside… I want the socialist pretender to fail in all his nefarious plans. I hope we conservatives are now motivated enough to get things turned around…. we have to get out the liberals and the RINOs…
Just hilarious Amy Beth. Keep writing and making us laugh at all the craziness (on both sides of the aisle) around us.
LOL! It sure will be a laugh riot when all the members of his audience who don’t quite realize his show is this satire you speak of (I’m guessing this is all but .002% of the audience) take up arms and perpetrate some collective act of violence. Or elect candidates who actually believe everything he says to congress or as president. I’ll be laughing from my death camp cell thinking “That Glenn Beck sure is a card”. That’ll sure be a knee slapper! LMFAO.
If it is satire, I would say he’s the world’s most ineffective satirists, because satire is only valuable if people understand that it’s satire.