Bustin’ Out All Over: Gay Agenda Revealed

Every now and then, it helps to place ourselves in another person’s shoes. Consider the perspective of a hatriot listening to Fox, Beck, Coulter, or Limbaugh blabbing on and on about those perverted homosekshuals and their abominations or some such. Consider, as well, that unless you have been completely cut off from the world, that in the past few months we have witnessed:

• two lesbian teens and one gay teen in the Deep South in Alabama (Cynthia Stewart in Tharptown), Mississippi (Constance McMillen in Fulton),  and Georgia (Derrick Martin in Cochran) challenge their respective school authorities, asking for equal access to high school proms;
• Republican lawmaker, California State Senator Roy Ashburn, seen leaving a gay bar and subsequently publicly declaring that he is gay;
• singer Ricky Martin finally coming out with a public statement (honestly, was anyone surprised?);
• a Vanity Fair-60 Minutes poll indicating that a majority of those surveyed would support an openly gay Supreme Court Justice or Secretary of State;
• Ellen Degeneres’s The Ellen Show is renewed with high Nielsen ratings, ranking 5th out of 14 households and showing her evenly tied with Drs. Phil and Oz;
• an announcement that Rosie O’Donnell is returning to daytime television;
• the Pentagon relaxing the infamous Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell regulations, in preparation of  a full repeal of DADT, which top Pentagon leaders support; and
• openly gay Massachusetts Representative Barney Frank (D) stating that there would be a vote in the House in April on the Employment Non-Discrimination Act or ENDA, with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s (D) support.

Top these popular news items of note with generous heaps of health care reform  propaganda that tagged it as a “socialist” scheme by American rightists and Rush Limbaugh’s declaration that if health care reform passed he would move to Costa Rica: which, by the way, has nationalized health care. Add a side dish of paranoia about the ‘government going to take away our arms’ and you have a wacky set up for really spooking a regressive into believing it really just might be the end of the world, as we know it.

It’s no wonder the right wing is freaked out. None of their predictions regarding divine wrath have come true about Massachusetts, which recognized a state constitutional right to same-sex marriage law in 2004, and in which 16,000 people have married a same-sex partner over the past seven years. It  might suddenly look like LGBTs are taking over and one just does not know what they might do or how that would turn out. To that end, what is the gay agenda, what do lesbians and gays really want?

The Gay Agenda, Finally Revealed

• Workplace rights
• Marriage rights
• Freedom from acts of violence or intimidation
• Freedom to serve in the military
• Clean house
• Find a job
• Set aside savings for a rainy day
• Get haircut
• Return DVD
• Buy flowers for wife, hubby, or best friend
• Toss “us vs. them” worldview in trash

What do lesbians and gays really want? How about “Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness“? How’s that for a gay agenda? Yup, that’ll do it: just like it applies to every other American.